…and now for a word on carpet cleaning…

If you are at all squeamish, please don’t read below…

For the second time this week, Dr. J and I woke up to that awful sound that no parent (ok, we only have dogs, but we’re still parents nonetheless) ever wants to hear in the middle of the night – the wretch.  First up was Maggie, puking up a treat in the middle of the night that we gave her before bed – fortunately, she made it to the cork floors just in time.  Last night it was Tiki, puking up what I can only imagine was blood from a little dental surgery she had to have yesterday  At this point in our dog owning years, we’ve become accustomed to this happening every couple of months, so we’ve got a routine down – listen for the wretch (it’s pretty unmistakable), immediately wake up, and try to direct the dog to the bathroom so it’s easier to clean and/or, more recently, to the cork floors because *those* are also super easy to clean….

Last night….not so lucky.  Tiki doesn’t have as much “noisy leadup” as Maggie does and so she’s just overall more quiet and stealth-like.  We missed the first go (which was, of course, bigger and more nasty), but were able to get her onto the cork for the second go, thankfully.  At this point we’ve kind of worked on our “system” for midnight emergency cleanups – Dr. J handles the mess, I handle the dog (usually taking them outside to see if anything else needs to come out, directing them to water because nobody likes puke-mouth).  Last night, it wasn’t so bad, so we switched jobs…..only….Tiki puked up mostly half digested blood leftover from her surgery.  We have mostly white-ish/cream carpet in our house….and that @#$% was *nasty*!

Let me explain our carpet cleaning process for those that might be interested…

  1. Pick up mess (I’m trying to spare you the gorey details…)
  2. Pour water on stain
  3. Hold and press paper towels down to “lap it up”
  4. Continue this process for as long as you possibly can….using up half a paper towel roll in the process.
  5. ….keep pressing the paper towels….
  6. Pour more water onto it to water down the stain as much as possible…
  7. Repeat steps 3-5 in a half asleep stupor….
  8. Spray carpet cleaner on the spot
  9. Bring out our spot cleaning machine
  10. Scrub with cleaning machine
  11. Suck up excess water with machine
  12. Empty machine of grody liquid
  13. Put machine away
  14. Put away cleaning supplies
  15. ……you get the point…..

Do you want to know what my process is for cleaning cork/porcelain/hardwood of “pet mess”

  1. Wipe up mess
  2. Spray all purpose cleaner
  3. Wipe
  4. Go back to bed

….and that, my friends, is why carpet is *Lord*of*the*sith*evil*…..need I say more?????  My dream house will be wall to wall wood/porcelain/cork with no carpet in sight.  Oh, how I dream a little dream…


16 thoughts on “…and now for a word on carpet cleaning…

  1. This is exactly why I’m pushing for carpet elimination in my home. I try to pick up the dog and carry it to the bathroom or outside, but every time the cat tries to barf, he runs away before I can grab him and throw him out the door! Have you gotten quite fast in your response time? I have. My boyfriend watches me bolt and usually says, “How did you even HEAR that?”

    Never thought of cork flooring though. Thanks for the idea, because I’ll definitely have to check it out. Seems like a great alternative to hardwood!!

    • Hi, Stormy Dreadful –

      I’m convinced that neither my hubs or I actually sleep completely “dead” anymore, so we’re pretty quick. Although, Dr. J is waaaaay better at it than I am. He’s sort of the cruise director in that sense.

      I hear you on the carpet elimination thing! If I could have no carpet throughout the house, I totally would. We even have considered gettign rid of the carpet in our bedroom but have decided that for resale, it’s probably better with carpet….though, MAN! The dream house will have NO CARPET!! URG!

      Thanks for stopping by!

  2. *Lord*of*the*sith*evil*!!!! What a great description! Oh so many memories of cleaning up after our Pippin when he had his episodes! Thanks for today’s memory and chuckle!

  3. I’m with you on the no carpet Hate, HATE it! We don’t have animals, just too many kids (and a hubs)…so I too have had my share of cleaning up… But here’s a trick I’ve learned. Club soda. After getting the gross stuff off, I pour it on, let it fizzle a bit than blot up (I try not to rub, but usually do a little) with a towel (microfiber works great) until dry. And I repeat usually twice, until the stain AND smell are gone. I’ve only had one thing not come out (cherry slush-now a light pink at least-it sat awhile before I noticed). But we do have slightly darker, newer carpet with plenty of toxic-fume-emitting stain gaurd crap on it. I may just be fooling myself at how great it works…;)

    • Haha! Kelsey, thanks for the club soda tip. Thanks to my club soda addiction (I drink it instead of pop), we’ve always got plenty on hand! And who knew it was good for getting stains out in addition to red wine?!?!? Great tip!

      I’ve heard that stains *only* get worse with the addition of children so you better believe we’ll be changing out all of our carpet at some point….oh, the things to add to the list ;-).

      Thanks for stopping by!

    • @ Amanda and dhoopkinaray –

      Oh, it’s definitely something we’ve considered! That’s why we plan to keep the carpet in the bedrooms (as much as we hate it) for the warmth factor, especially waking up in the middle of the night, etc. Fortunately, Oregon has pretty mild winters (rarely ever gets below freezing) and we lived in a house with all wood/slate floors before this one and absolutely loved it! Soooo much easier to clean. Sure, it’s a little colder, but that’s definitely something we can handle. As my hubby says, I’m a warm body anyway and I could seriously sell my own power for the amount of heat I radiate at all times – haha! To each his own, for sure.


  4. Umm looks like I’ll be goin’ against the grain here, but are you *sure* you’d love a house with no carpet?? What about winter & cold floors? Or in oregon, cold floors *most* of the year? Sure, wear socks, one would say, but for some even that isn’t enough. Plus, your heating costs would go up too with wood flooring instead of carpet.
    hey, I have a kitten who pukes now & then too, and it sucks to clean it up, and I love hardwood floors too, but I’m living with carpet to stay warm!

  5. We have kids and a dog, but the worst offender for dirtying our annoyingly white carpet is my husband, who thinks socks are appropriate outdoor footwear!

    our carpet is berber, and it has little dirt pockets that the vacuum doesn’t seem to reach…the dog thinks these are special speck-collectors just for him! Yuck.

    we’re contemplating replacing the carpet with either engineered hardwood or laminate–it’s over a concrete slab…maybe cork is another option?

    • Hey, Carole –

      I’m not sure if cork would be good over concrete slab or not?!?! IT’s definitely worth checking into, though. I’d just google “appropriate flooring over concrete slab” or something. Good luck! And definitely report back your findings if you hear!!


      • it looks like you can install cork over concrete–just like with laminate, you’re supposed to do a moisture test, and might need to use a moisture barrier…

        some sites say you can install a floating cork floor in a basement, some say no…our sunroom is above grade, so I guess it’s another option to add to the list…it’s our last room with wall-to-wall!

  6. yeah, I hear you with those kids of ours (I have 4 legged kids too). Oddly enough I had one of those messes this morning… thankfully it occurred in their kennel so it was just a manner of washing the bedding in the washing machine. hosing down the box and since the thing is now drying in the sun, going to deep clean the carpet underneath.

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